


A Living Hell

by F1_rabbit



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Reaper (TV) Fusion, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-05-04 12:47:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14593353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/F1_rabbit/pseuds/F1_rabbit
Summary: On the eve of Paul's twenty-first birthday, his parents tell him that they did a deal with the devil, and in return, the devil now owns his soul.





	1. It has to be a joke...

The tension in the air was so thick that Paul felt his chest tighten. He expected his parents to tell him that now he was turning twenty-one it was time for him to move out, which he could manage with what he made at the garage, and he’d probably share with his best friend, Nico.

But nothing could have prepared him for what his parents actually told him.

“You sold my soul to the devil?” Paul laughed, but his parents just stared at him, his mum reaching out to rest her hand on his dad’s knee to stop his leg jiggling with nerves.

“Your dad was very sick, and we made a deal.” His mum sounded so calm, like she was talking about a new phone contract that she’d signed rather than her son’s soul. “But we thought it would be simple, we wouldn’t have kids and then there would be no way for the devil to collect.”

“But then one day the condom broke...”

Paul groaned, resting his head in his hands, covering his ears with his fingers, trying to drown out his dad’s voice. Knowing he was unplanned was fine, but having to hear about the lengths the devil had gone to so that they couldn’t get rid of him was terrifying.

“… and every time we tried to get to the clinic, something got in the way.”

“Please, stop talking.” Paul held out his hands as through he was surrendering, glad for a minute of silence to gather his thoughts. “But what about my free will?”

“I’m sorry, son.”

Paul felt the anger welling up inside him, his hands clenched into fists as his whole body trembled, and he knew that if he didn’t leave that instant, he was going to do something that he regretted.

Storming out of the door, he was glad that he had his phone and wallet on him, and he grabbed his bike, thankful that his common sense made him put on his helmet. The frost was thick on the ground, even though it was April, and his breath hung in the air in an ominous way.

Cycling through the quiet streets helped him wear off the worst of the anger, and he pulled up outside his best friend’s place, leaving his bike neatly by the side of the house as the snow started to fall.

Paul glanced at his watch, just gone half nine, which, even though he was going to be twenty-one tomorrow, still felt too late to be knocking on the door and potentially waking up Nico’s parents.

But he had nowhere else to go, and the thought of going home had him shaking with anger.

Rapping his knuckles against the glass door, Paul cringed at how loud it sounded, and he considered just slinking home and sleeping in the shed for a night.

A light came on inside the house, and Paul froze like a rabbit in headlights, his heart pounding as he wondered what he would say to Nico’s parents. He held his breath as the door opened, and felt tears welling up in his eyes when he saw Nico standing there, rubbing at his eyes even though his glasses were in the way.

“Hey, you’re a little early for your birthday present.” Nico chuckled at his own joke, pulling Paul into the house as he shivered, his thin pyjamas offering little protection from the cold.

“I…” Paul sniffed, and Nico’s smile evaporated, his long arms wrapping him up in a hug as he inhaled his scent. Burgers and chips, a smell so overpowering that it drowned out the petrol and motor oil smell that followed every other garage employee.

“Mum’s just made hot chocolate, why don’t you go up to my room and I’ll bring it up to you.”

“Thank you.” Paul wiped his nose on his hoodie sleeve, rushing to take off his shoes before darting up the stairs to Nico’s bedroom.

He spent almost as much time in Nico’s room as he did in his own, and it had the added bonus that Nico was there too. Pulling on the dry hoodie that Nico had left slung over his bed, Paul luxuriated in the feeling of being surrounded by Nico’s scent.

Paul jumped when Nico opened the door, the smell of warm chocolate wafting over, and Paul felt his stomach twist. This place felt more like home than his own home did, and that was both comforting and upsetting all at the same time.

Nico sat the mugs down on the little bedside table that was littered with empty crisp packets and chocolate wrappers, before looking at Paul with worry in his eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Paul shook his head like a toddler sulking, but he couldn’t figure out how to make the thoughts running through his head sound sane, so he said nothing.

“Do you want to choose the film?” Nico handed Paul the remote for the tv, although Paul knew what would be in the DVD player, _Pirates of the Caribbean._

It was Nico’s favourite film, and they had watched in many times together, so in a way, it had become their film.

Paul hit play, and Nico handed him the hot chocolate, wrapping an arm around him as he cuddled in.

When the little clock by the tv passed midnight, Nico gave him a kiss on the forehead, whispering ‘happy birthday’ as Paul started to doze off.

If it wasn’t for Nico, there’d be nothing happy at all about his birthday.

***

Paul woke to the smell of coffee and bacon, and he opened his eyes to see a small wrapped box sitting by the bed.

“Happy Birthday.” Nico bounced on to the bed with such force that Paul thought he might be launched off it, but it made him smile, and he was sure that was why Nico had done it.

“Thanks.” Paul ruffled his hair into place, accepting the cup of coffee with a half-hearted smile on his face.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Nico stared into his eyes, and Paul was horrified by his reflection in Nico’s glasses. He looked tired and the bags under his eyes were so large that he’d need a truck to move them.

Paul wanted to tell Nico everything, but it still sounded crazy in his head. If he hadn’t seen his parents’ reaction he’d have assumed it was a joke, but neither of his parents had ever shown a sense of humour before, not like this.

“Do you want your birthday gift?” Nico took his untouched coffee out of his hands, and held out the small box, the dark leather making it feel important.

Paul ran his fingers over it, unsure what could be inside it. Neither of them were really ones for jewellery, it only got in the way at work, and there weren’t many other things that could fit in a box that small.

The lid creaked as he opened it, and he gasped when he saw his gift.

Car keys.

The Mercedes-Benz logo was obvious, and Paul looked in confusion at Nico, but he wasn’t laughing.

It had to be a joke, a gift of car keys and not the car that went with it.

Paul laughed, a noise that sounded more hysterical than joyful, but Nico just frowned.

“You don’t like it?”

Paul struggled for air, his body shuddering silently as he tried to get a grip on himself and failed. By the time he could talk, Nico’s eyes were filled with worry, and that was like a slap in the face to Paul.

“The gift is lovely, thank you.” Paul giggled, the laughter bubbling over without warning, and it took Nico’s frown to snap him out of it.

“Do you want to see the rest of it?” Nico took Paul’s hand, dragging him downstairs, and Paul held on tight, Nico’s skin always so warm compared to his ice-cold hands. It felt like Nico was all that was keeping him grounded right now, stopping his sanity from shattering into little pieces.

Paul was glad that Nico’s parents seemed to have gone to work already, sparing him from having to put on a happy face around them, and he shivered as they entered the garage.

He gasped when he saw the car that went with his keys.

“I know it’s not what you meant when you said that you wanted a classic car, but this was all I could find the parts for.”

A British racing green Mercedes-Benz 190E.

The car was easily the same age as him, although it looked brand new, and Paul stared at it in disbelief.

“Is this one of the customers’ cars?”

“No. It’s yours.” Nico pointed at it as though Paul couldn’t see the car that was sitting not more than three feet from him. “Happy Birthday.”

“Is this a joke?”

“No.” Nico turned so that he could look into his eyes, and Paul felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. His best friend had done all this for him, and he couldn’t even say thanks.

And then all the pieces fell into place.

“This is why you’ve been dragging me to scrapyards these last few months?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck, Nico, I’m sorry.” Paul sniffed, and Nico wrapped him up in his arms, stroking his back as Paul tried not to cry.

“We should be going if we want to get to work on time.” Nico gave him a kiss on the cheek. “And tonight, you are going to tell me everything.”

“Okay.” Paul swallowed the lump in his throat, pulling Nico closer as he buried his face against his neck.

He wished that he could stay there forever, leave all the strange things far away from him and his nice comfortable life.

“Wanna take the car into work? Show it off to the kids?” Nico’s dorky grin shone out as he held the car keys up, the sound of them rattling was all that it took to snap Paul out of his trance.

“Yes, yes I do.”

*

Paul couldn’t believe the work that Nico must have put into the car. He’d seen a lot of the scrap parts when Nico had gone to salvage them, and they looked nothing like they did now.

If he didn’t know any better, he could have sworn that Nico had gone back in time just to get the car.

Pulling up at the back of the garage, Paul felt as though someone was breathing down his neck, and a shiver ran down his spine.

“Please tell me that you didn’t sell your soul to the devil for this car…”

Nico burst out laughing, clutching his sides as he rocked back and forth in the seat.

“No.” Nico nudged Paul with his elbow, shaking his head as he gave Paul a funny look. “This my friend, is the result of hours and hours of hard work.” He patted the dashboard, and Paul hung his head.

Nico was the one person that was always by his side, and he’d been so preoccupied he couldn’t see that Nico was doing everything in his power to make sure he had a good birthday.

“Thank you.” Paul started to lean over for a hug, but he was startled by Ted knocking on the window, making them both jump in fright.

“Are you two going to do any work today?”

Nico rolled his eyes, and Paul compressed his lips so that he didn’t laugh. “We’re just coming.”

“We better move, I wouldn’t want you to get into trouble on your birthday.” Nico stuck his tongue out, giving Paul a quick hug before pushing him out of the door.

They scurried into the garage just as the clock ticked over to nine, and when Paul saw the queue of customers already at their door, he knew that he was in for a long day.

*

Paul was barely an hour into his shift when a strange customer came in, talking endlessly about his car, and Paul was sure that he was lying until he heard Nico revving up the engine of a Lamborghini Diablo.

“Do you like it?” The customer raised an eyebrow, and Paul sensed the same ominous feeling that he’d felt in the car earlier.

From the car Paul would have usually guessed drug dealer, or a financial type going through a mid-life crisis. But the guy standing in front of him had the air of a university professor, maybe one that occasionally smoked a joint or two, home-grown of course, and liked to wax lyrical about the answers to life, the universe, and everything. His grey hair and goatee said that he’d been around for a while, and yet his face said otherwise, lacking the wrinkles that came from a life well-lived.

“Do you want to have a go, Paul?”

“How did you know my name?” Paul’s mouth hung open, and he could have sworn that the customer’s eyes lit up, as though there was a fire burning in his soul.

“It’s on your name tag.” The customer pointed to his badge that displayed his name for the whole world to see.

“Oh.” Paul coughed to cover his embarrassment, Nico giving the car one last rev before parking it up in his bay. “We’ll take good care of your car…”

“Lucifer.”

“Really?” Paul spluttered as he covered his mouth to hide his smile. He’d thought that his parents were cruel, but at least they had given him an ordinary name.

“Really.” Lucifer had a kind smile, but Paul couldn’t shake the feeling of unease.

“I’ll give you a call when your car’s ready.”

“Thank you, Paul.” Lucifer put his hand out to shake, and Paul had expected his hands to be cool, but they were warm to the touch, almost uncomfortably so.

For the rest of the day, Paul couldn’t quite get the stranger with the strange name out of his mind, and he wondered what it all meant.

*

By the end of the day, Paul felt like he’d worked a whole week, and he let Nico drive him home for fear that he’d fall asleep at the wheel.

But the worst was still to come.

Outside his home, the home that he had lived in for all twenty-one years of his life, there was a ‘for sale’ sign.

His heart rate spiked, and he jumped out of the car before it had even come to a stop, Nico rushing to pull the handbrake on as he dashed after him.

Paul wanted to believe that the sign was in the wrong place, that an estate agent had misread the numbers, but as he approached the house he could sense that it was empty.

It was no longer a home, it was just a house waiting to be sold.

In the driveway were half a dozen plastic chests, thankfully the ones with sealed lids, and Paul knew what would be in them before he even opened them up.

“I’m sorry.”

Paul hadn’t even realised that Nico was standing behind him, and he fell back into his arms as Nico wrapped his arm around his waist, holding him up as the tears started to fall.

“No matter what happens, I’ll be here for you.”

“It’s not just this…” Paul sniffed, turning to face Nico as his knees gave out, and he ended up sitting on one of the plastic crates that contained his meagre belongings. “My parents… they sold my soul to the devil.”

Nico froze, a strained smile on his face, and Paul felt his blood run cold. Nico was all that he had left, and he didn’t know what he’d do without him.


	2. No Joke

Paul could see that Nico was trying to work out if he should take him to somewhere with padded walls and a straightjacket, but in the end, he just pushed his glasses up on his nose, his mouth hanging open as the skies above them opened.

They rushed to get everything into the car, and as Paul picked up the last crate, he saw that there was a letter sticking out of it, his name scrawled on the envelope in his mother’s familiar handwriting. Stuffing the letter into his pocket, he scurried over to the car, jumping in as the flash of lightning announced the low rumble of thunder that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

Nico drove in silence, the rain battering against the windscreen, and Paul could see the fear in his eyes.

“You missed the turning.” Paul pointed to the end of Nico’s street, but he made no attempt to slow the car, and Paul sat back in his seat. There was no point trying to talk to Nico right now, he could figure everything out when they stopped. Wherever that might be.

After a while, Nico pulled up outside a pub, and Paul could sense that this conversation was one that needed a pint.

They wandered in, not caring that the rain had soaked them to the bone, both of them looking pale and weary. Nico tried to wipe his glasses clean on his hoodie, but it was too wet to be of any use.

Leaning against the bar, Paul held up two fingers, and the guy behind the bar poured them two pints without batting an eyelid.

Nico downed his before the barman had even finished pulling the second pint, and Paul rolled his eyes as Nico shrugged. At least they were within walking distance of Nico’s place, although if Nico kept drinking at this rate he was going to have to carry him.

Hustling Nico in the direction of an empty table in the corner, Paul was glad to get him away from the bar before he drank another pint. Paul leant in close, the low squawk of ill-fitting pop music enough cover for them to talk without being heard.

The pub was mostly empty, although Paul expected nothing less on a Monday night, but what he didn’t expect to see was the mysterious customer from earlier, Lucifer, propping up the bar, holding a bottle of beer.

He waved, and Paul found himself waving back as Nico used a napkin to dry his glasses, with little success.

Before Paul could blink, Lucifer sat himself down at their table as Nico peered through his smudged lenses, and it took a minute for him to recognise their guest.

“Hi, Lambo guy.” Nico pointed finger guns at him, and Paul breathed a sigh of relief when Lucifer smiled.

“That’s me.” Lucifer chuckled, clearly fine with the fact that Nico was awful with names.

Nico only ever remembered customers by their cars. Which was fine for someone who brought in a high-end sports car, but for the people that brought in average family cars, he mostly referred to them as mate, or darling, whichever he thought was least likely to get him punched. He got a lot of phone numbers that way, although he never used them, and Paul was sure that he’d know if Nico did. Nico told him everything.

“Nasty weather out there.”

“Yes.” Paul nodded, absently sipping at his pint, Nico mimicking his actions as he wondered what to say to save them from sitting in silence. “Sorry we couldn’t get your car back to you today, we had to order parts from the factory.”

“It’s the only problem with a car like that, it’s never easy, or cheap, to fix.” Lucifer chuckled, and Paul tried to look like he was paying attention, but he wasn’t sure if his face had got the message.

“But it would be worth it to own a car like that.” Nico smiled, his eyes glazed over as he stared into the distance, and Paul knew he was picturing what it would be like to drive it somewhere other than the car park at work.

“So, what do you do?” Paul took another sip as he watched Lucifer smirk, downing his drink in one.

Nico seemed to be relaxing, almost as though he was in a trance, and Paul wondered if letting him drink was a good idea. But they couldn’t talk about all the things going on his life now, he was going to have to wait until they were alone. At least having some company was taking his mind off things.

Paul zoned out for a while, lost in his thoughts, happy just to listen to Nico talk about cars. When he zoned back in, he couldn’t remember what they had been talking about, or how many of the empty pint glasses sitting on the table were his.

“Earth to Paul?” Nico waved his hand in front of Paul’s eyes, and Paul managed to smile when all he felt was confusion.

“Sorry?”

“I think we should be going.” Nico fished the car keys out of his pocket, but Lucifer put his hand out to stop him.

“You’re not fit to drive, I’ll give you boys a lift.”

Nico tried to point at the bottle that Lucifer had been holding, but his arm swung wildly, and he ended up knocking it on to the floor.

“You’ve been drinking.”

“It’s alcohol free.” Lucifer grinned as he held up the bottle, and Nico squinted at it, but considering the state that Nico appeared to be in, it could have said anything on the bottle.

A bit of Paul’s mind was telling him that he shouldn’t accept a lift from strangers, even ones that liked cars as much as Lucifer did.

But a taxi was more than he could afford, especially since he appeared to be homeless now, although he knew that there was always space in Nico’s bed for him.

Not like that. They were friends, and nothing more. That was what Paul kept telling himself, and some days, he actually believed it.

He pulled on his still-damp jacket as Nico darted out of his seat, stumbling on unsteady feet, and Paul rushed to catch him, resting his hands on his hips as he guided him towards the door.

Lucifer took his car keys out of his pocket, grinning as he rattled them in front of Nico, showing off the Jaguar logo. Nico’s eyes lit up, his dorky grin shining out, and Paul found himself smiling for the first time all day.

“Let’s ride!” Nico cheered, startling the few old guys that had been quietly playing darts in the corner, and Paul waved his hand in way of apology. Not that it would be the first or the last time that they’d seen a drunk guy in the pub.

Lucifer stood in front of his car for a second, and Paul blinked before he realised what looked strange about it. Not that a pub like this usually saw a flame red Jaguar parked outside it, but that wasn’t the strangest thing. No, even though the rain had stopped for now, the other cars were all still soaked, but Lucifer’s car was as dry as the Sahara Desert.

“Do you like it?” Lucifer grinned, and Paul heard a little voice telling him not to get in the car.

But before he could say anything, Nico jumped in the passenger seat, and Paul groaned internally, now he was going to have to get in the car. He couldn’t leave Nico alone with a stranger while he was wasted.

“You have this, and a Lambo?” Nico said, running his fingers over the dash, fascinated by the detail of it.

“And a few others.” Lucifer winked at him as Paul squished into the backseat. He glared at Nico, hoping that he would see his panic, but he was far too busy admiring the car to notice.

He briefly thought about texting someone to tell them where he was, but then it all came crashing back, with his parents gone, Nico was the only person that he would text in an emergency, and he was stuck here with him.

His finger hovered over the number for Nico’s mum, but she’d only worry, and now that they were pulling out of the car park, there was nothing much that she could do for them anyway. He should have clocked the licence plate before he got in, but it would be suspicious if he asked Lucifer for it now.

“So, where am I taking you guys?” Lucifer looked at Nico who was still engrossed with the car, glancing around as though he had been magically transported to a strange and distant land.

“Kingfisher Street.” Paul rested his hand on Nico’s shoulder, but Nico was too busy enjoying the ride. Even though they were only doing sixty, the roar of the engine made it feel like they were going much faster.

“I think I know where that is.” Lucifer smiled as he lurched down the country roads, the tight twists and bends no match for the car’s steering, and Paul found himself enjoying the journey, happy that Nico was happy.

They drove in silence for a while, the beer taking the edge off the awkwardness, and after the day he’d had, he was glad for a little bit of luck. Of all the places they could have gone for a drink, it was the one place that they’d managed to find someone kind enough to give them a lift home.

And then Paul saw a familiar tree, its blossoms scattered over the damp road.

“It’s a left here.” Paul pointed to the end of Nico’s street, but Lucifer drove straight past it.

“I need to make a quick stop first.”

Paul glanced over Lucifer’s shoulder, looking at the petrol warning light before relaxing. His mind was already running away with itself, wondering if their bodies would ever be found.

“You can just drop us here, we’ll walk back.”

“It’s not a bother.” Lucifer smiled, and Paul felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. “I wouldn’t want you get soaked in the rain.”

There was a clap of thunder, and the rain started to pound the car like tiny wet bullets.

“How did you know it was going to rain?” Nico looked amazed, as though Lucifer was a magician that had pulled a rabbit from a hat.

“I can sense these things.” Lucifer shrugged, but Paul couldn’t relax. There was something off about the guy, and not in a probably-a-drug-dealer kind of way. This guy was full on bodies buried underneath the patio creepy.

“We’re already damp and soggy, so it won’t make any difference to us.”

“Paul, why are you being so rude?” Nico turned to stare, and Paul knew what he was thinking. He just wanted to spend more time in the car, and in any other circumstances, Paul would have agreed with him.

Lucifer pulled up outside an old abandoned petrol station. It had closed a few years back, when Paul was still in high school, and it was too much hassle to take out the tanks and develop the land, so it had sat empty for all those years.

The boards over the windows were chipped and damaged, and the old pumps had metal cases over them, not that there was any petrol left for people to steal. It wouldn’t take much to get the place up and running again, but the odds were that it would sit here until it was so run down that the local council would have to demolish it.

That seemed to be the way that everything ended up around here.

Paul shivered as Lucifer switched the engine off, waiting for a second before stepping out of the car as the rain stopped.

“It’s a pity what happened to the owner of this place,” Lucifer said, staring into the distance as though it was clear summer’s day, and not a cloudy evening with mist hanging in the air.

“He died, didn’t he?” Nico wandered round the car, his shadow dancing as he walked past the headlights, and Paul tried to catch his eye, but it was no use.

From here they could run home, if they were sober, but with Nico in his drunken state, there was no knowing how far they’d get, or what weapons Lucifer had stashed in his flashy car.

“Killed in a car accident, but that’s not what interests me.” Lucifer stepped closer to the abandoned shop, and Nico followed, leaving Paul torn between running and leaving Nico, or following Nico into whatever danger was coming their way.

Paul could have sworn that for a fraction of a second, he saw the kiosk as it used to be, before the place closed down.

“What is it that interests you?” Paul hoped that if he kept him talking he’d have longer to get Nico away from here, but Nico was oblivious to his attempts, batting away his hand every time he tried to get his attention.

“The owner, as well as selling petrol and overpriced snacks and drinks, also sold videos.”

“I don’t remember him selling videos.” Nico frowned, his brow wrinkled with lines as he thought hard, and Paul shook his head.

“Me either.”

“These aren’t the sort of videos that you would get in any store.” Lucifer was enjoying the attention, and for a second Paul felt sorry for him, clearly he didn’t get out much.

“Oh?” Paul remembered the little video shop in the town, although that was long gone too, a relic of another era.

Nico laughed, his filthy chuckle that he only used when someone accidentally made innuendos at work.

“He sold porno videos?” Nico grinned, smiling like he’d just worked out the secrets to the universe.

“And made them too.” Lucifer raised an eyebrow, and Nico’s grin got so wide that Paul was sure his face would split in two.

“Why are you telling us all of this?” Paul’s stomach churned when he came up with a short list of answers, none of them pleasant, and all of them reasons to run away as fast as he could.

Nudging Nico, he hoped that the cool evening air would have sobered Nico up enough to see the fear in his eyes, but Nico was hanging on Lucifer’s every word, and Paul knew that he would do anything just to get another ride in a sports car.

“I’m telling you all this, because the former owner of the petrol station has escaped from hell, and I need you to get him back for me.”

Paul snorted in laughter, but his smile faded when he saw that Lucifer wasn’t joking. “You expect me to believe that you’re the real Lucifer, the devil himself.”

“Yes.”

“Let me guess, you used to be in a rock band in the seventies, they made just enough money that you could live a nice life with flashy sports cars, but you weren’t so famous that people recognise you now. Lucifer was your stage name, but you use it to play pranks on gullible guys like us.”

Lucifer clapped his hands, and suddenly a wooden chest appeared out of nowhere, looking like a prop from _The Pirates of the Caribbean._

“Is this a joke?” Paul looked at Nico who was still smiling at Lucifer, fascinated by him, and Paul felt a twinge of jealousy. “Because if it is, I’ve had the worst day, and it’s not funny.”

“This is no joke.” Lucifer held his arms out, and Paul saw flames licking at his feet, his horns growing in as his wings and tail extended out.

Nico reached out to touch a wing, making Lucifer grin, and Paul felt the world spin uncontrollably. He reached out to try and steady himself, but there was nothing to hold on to, and the last thing that he felt was his face hitting the cold hard ground with a thud.

Paul woke to the sound of Nico throwing up, and he pushed himself on to his knees before stumbling in the direction of the noise, his heart pounding like an illegal rave.

“Nico?” Paul reached out for him, but his eyes still wouldn’t focus, and he tripped over a crack in the concrete, landing face first against the damp and slimy floor, cursing his luck.

“I feel better now.” Nico sounded strangely proud of himself, and his voice, although quiet, sounded close by.

Paul blinked a few times to see Lucifer stroking Nico’s back, taking care of him, and Paul felt the bile rise up in his throat. Looking after Nico when he was drunk was his job, and a flash of jealousy shot through him as he tried to dust off his knees, but he only spread the dirt and grease around. Shaking his head, he admitted defeat, gravity was too strong for him to fight. He curled his arms around his legs, forming a ball, and he shivered as his cold damp clothes clung to his skin.

“You’re really the devil?”

“I told you that I was Lucifer.” He shrugged, offering Nico a can of Red Bull that he chugged without hesitation, and he burped with such force that Paul was sure Nico was going to throw up again. “And in the pub, when you asked me what I do, I told you that I was the ruler of hell.”

“Oh, I wasn’t listening.” Paul shook his head, wondering exactly how drunk Nico was that he didn’t seem bothered by any of this.

Lucifer helped him to his feet, and Paul felt out of his depth. He’d never left this town for any longer than a week, so he knew that there were lots of things that he had never seen or experienced, but he hadn’t expected the existence of hell to be one of those things.

“Fine, take me to hell.” Paul shook his head, there was no point fighting his fate. “Just leave Nico alone.”

“Woah, it doesn’t work like that, you have to die to go to hell.” Lucifer held his hands up as his eyes burned with the fires of hell.

“Run!” Paul sprinted in Nico’s direction, grabbing his arm as he sped past, and Nico stayed on his feet for two whole steps before collapsing to his knees, retching as he threw up the Red Bull, which Paul was surprised hadn’t happened already.

Paul slumped to the floor next to Nico, stroking his back and comforting him as he accepted his fate. If he was going to die, at least he would die with Nico by his side. It was probably always going to have been this way, but he’d hoped that he would be older than twenty-one when it happened.

There was the sound of knuckles cracking, and Paul looked up to see Lucifer towering over him, a smirk on his face.

“I’m not here to kill you.” Lucifer pulled another can of Red Bull out of his seemingly bottomless pockets and offered it to Nico, but Paul took it out of Lucifer’s hands before Nico could grab it.

“You wouldn’t happen to have water stashed in your magic coat, would you?” Paul opened the Red Bull, even though he knew he would regret his decision later. Not that sleep was going to come easy for him tonight.

Lucifer snorted in laughter before handing Nico a bottle of water, and Nico cuddled into Paul’s shoulder as he sipped at it.

“If you’re not here to take me to hell, then why are you here?” Paul stroked Nico’s hair, glad that he seemed oblivious to it all.

“Good reliable staff are hard to come by in hell.”

Paul nodded like Lucifer was just another customer using him as a free counselling service, dumping their woes on him as he mumbled little non-committal noises.

“Owning their soul doesn’t mean that I can make them do what I want.” Lucifer flared out his coat so that he could sit down on the ground, and Paul was sure that his long coat was waterproof and warm.

Nico slumped over into Paul’s lap, and he stroked Nico’s hair as Lucifer raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t realise he was your boyfriend.”

“He’s not.” Paul watched as Nico reached out to hold his hand, intertwining their fingers as though it was the most natural thing in the world, and Lucifer smirked. “Anyway, Nico isn’t the issue. The fact that you own my soul is the big problem.”

“You’re just unlucky, kid.” Lucifer’s wings and tail had gone, but the horns remained, underlining the point that he wasn’t the sort of guy that Paul wanted to cross.

“So, what do you want from me?”

“I could do with a bounty hunter, someone to send escaped souls back to hell.”

“And you think I’m the guy for the job?” Paul squeaked, shaking his head as Nico let out a soft snore, oblivious to the fact that he was sleeping on the cold wet ground.

“Yes.”

“What if I refuse?” Paul felt a searing heat for a second, his heart pounding as the smell of sulphur surrounded him, and he got a glimpse of hell, the screams echoing in his ears.

“Then I can make your life a living hell.” Lucifer’s smile sent a shiver down Paul’s spine. “Literally.”

Paul hung his head as the rain started to pour, and Nico stirred, turning over and squishing his glasses.

“I’ll take you two home, I’d hate for anything to happen to you.” Lucifer stood up, and Paul shivered, but he couldn’t tell if it was because of the cold rain, or the threatening undertone to Lucifer’s voice.

Paul felt the anger seep out, fighting was going to get him nowhere, it would be easier if he just accepted his fate.

“Thanks.” Paul slung his arm around Nico, dragging him to his feet as Lucifer helped keep Nico upright.

They drove in silence, Nico asleep over Paul’s lap, and Paul couldn’t fail to notice the looks that Lucifer kept giving him.

The rain stopped as they pulled up outside Nico’s house, and Lucifer helped Nico out of the car.

“Don’t forget your birthday gift.” Lucifer grinned as he clicked his fingers, and the wooden chest appeared in front of Paul’s feet.

Paul mumbled his thanks, struggling to carry it one handed, but he was sure that if he removed his hand from Nico’s waist he’d fall over.

There were no lights on in the house, and Paul dreaded having to explain this to Nico’s parents, although this wasn’t the first time that they’d stumbled home drunk in the middle of the night.

“You have to be quiet, we don’t want to wake your parents.”

Nico pressed a finger to his lips, shushing him loudly before giggling, and Paul shook his head.

The door creaked open, and Paul crept in, leaving the chest in the hall before manhandling Nico up the stairs, amazed that he managed them without falling over.

He couldn’t leave Nico in his wet clothes, but he felt awkward undressing him, Lucifer’s voice still echoing in his mind, and he blushed as he helped Nico out of his clothes. Even his boxers were soaked, and Paul closed his eyes as he peeled them off his cold damp skin. It wasn’t the first time that he’d seen Nico naked, but as his feelings for him had crept over into the sexual rather than platonic, it felt wrong to see Nico like this.

Once Nico was curled up in bed, a bin left by the edge of the bed, Paul went to get the chest, but he couldn’t bear to open it. He’d had enough of all things devilish tonight.

As he undressed he saw the soggy letter that he’d stuffed into his pocket earlier this evening, although it felt like weeks ago now. He slipped into bed next to Nico, his chest tight as he held the letter.

The paper was limp and the ink smudged, but Paul managed to peel it open, desperate to know what his parents could possibly say to justify leaving without telling him.

There was only one word on the piece of paper.

_Sorry._

Paul felt tears stream down his cheeks, and Nico rolled over in his sleep, draping his arm over him as he cuddled into him.


	3. Plan of Action

Paul woke to the sound of the chest being opened, the old hinges creaking as dry ice oozed out of it. Groaning as the bright light streamed into his eyes, his head spun as he sat up, and the world slowly came into focus, revealing Nico squatting naked next to the chest, his eyes wide as he waited for the smoke to clear.

“I don’t think you should touch that,” Paul said, stumbling out of bed, but he stopped when he realised that he was half-hard just at the sight of Nico naked. Coughing to hide his embarrassment, Paul noticed that there was a cup of tea sitting on the little bedside table, and he took a sip while Nico ran his fingers over the wooden chest.

“If Lucifer wanted us dead, we’d be dead already.” Nico pushed his glasses up on his nose, peering into the chest as Paul spluttered in confusion.

“I…”

“You thought I was too drunk to hear all that?”

“Yes, you were pretty much passed out on my lap.” Paul’s cock twitched at the memory of Nico cuddled into him, and he hoped that Nico would assume his blushing cheeks were because of his hangover.

“Don’t you want to know what the devil gave us?”

“Not really, but I don’t have a choice so…” Paul sighed, Nico wasn’t going to drop it, and the sooner he found out what Lucifer wanted him to do, the sooner he could get this over with.

Pulling the sheet around himself, Nico gave Paul a funny look, but Paul couldn’t meet his gaze. He knew that he was acting weird, but right now, he had no idea what normal felt like.

“I bet it’s some fancy sword, forged in the fires of hell.” Nico’s eyes were wide, and he rubbed his hands together before reaching through the smoke.

But nothing could have prepared Paul for what Nico pulled out.

The sunlight glinted off the long rod of purple crystal, and it was only when Paul looked closer that he realised what it was.

“Is that… a dildo?” Paul’s mouth hung open, he’d never seen anything like that in person, only as pictures online. “It’s huge.”

“It’s not that big.” Nico shrugged, and Paul let out a groan that could only be described as sexual.

Paul flapped his lips as his eyelashes fluttered, scared of what would come out of his mouth if he actually spoke.

Only Nico could consider a dildo of that length and girth ‘not that big’ and Paul licked his lips at the thought of Nico’s cock inside him.

He needed to slap himself out of it, before he booked himself a one-way ticket to frustration central.

“I’m going to get a shower, and then we should really go pick up your car.” Paul darted out of Nico’s bedroom as though his arse was on fire, and once he was in the shower it pelted him with icy droplets, a horrible reminder of last night’s events.

He let the water clear his mind, but his cock was standing proud despite the ice-cold water, and he rested his head against the tiles, cursing the universe as the water finally warmed up. 

“I brought you clean towels.”

Paul jumped at the sound of Nico’s voice, his hands automatically moving to cover his cock, and he put his head around the shower curtain to see Nico standing there with his glasses steamed up.

“Thanks.” Paul held the curtain back so that Nico could step into the shower, they usually shared, and to refuse now would make things even more awkward between them. At least Nico couldn’t see he was hard, or the look of guilt in his eyes when he glanced down to see Nico’s cock in all its glory.

“I know I didn’t say this last night, but I’m so sorry about everything.” Nico leant in for a hug, and Paul shuffled closer, burying his head against Nico’s shoulder.

“Thank you, for everything.”

“You can stay here for as long as you need to.”

Paul wanted to spend forever in Nico’s arms, and he felt everything fall into place, as though this was always destined to be. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Nico gave him a kiss on the cheek, and Paul felt the lump in his throat grow.

Of course Nico didn’t love him in that way. But he couldn’t have asked for a better friend, and he treasured every second that they got to spend together.

“Are you ready to go demon hunting today?” Nico lathered his toned body in soap, and Paul struggled to speak, his mind transfixed by the image of Nico cleaning himself, his muscles rippling as he

“The sooner I get this done, the sooner I can go back to my normal life.”

“I’ll put the coffee in travel mugs.” Nico smiled, clearly excited about being assistant bounty hunter for the day.

“Thanks.” Paul mentally slapped himself as Nico jumped out of the shower, his eyes drawn to the perfect curve of his rear, and he prepared himself for a long and tiring day.

At least having Nico by his side would make it all tolerable.

*

They’d walked out to the pub so that they could collect Nico’s car, and now they were cruising aimlessly around the town.

“How do you actually find an escaped soul?” Nico asked, as he pulled up outside McDonalds.

Paul knew that they weren’t going to get far before Nico wanted food, but he’d been so preoccupied that he hadn’t thought about the finer details of finding the escaped soul.

“Lucifer took us to the old abandoned petrol station, so we should start by researching the owner, and… how to use the…” Paul trailed off to a mumble, even when they were alone he’d been embarrassed to say the word, but now they were surrounded by parents with their young children, there was no way that he was going to say dildo out loud.

“Food first. Then back to the house, find out where our soul might have gone, and then bam.” Nico clapped his hands together, startling everyone in the restaurant, and he didn’t finish his thought until everyone had gone back to chatting. “We’ll send that motherfucker back to hell.”

Paul was glad that Nico had lowered his voice to a whisper, and he nodded in agreement, his eyes staring into the distance as he heard what sounded like someone having sex.

He looked over to see a man bent over one of the tables, his trousers pulled down over his thighs, and a woman wearing a strap-on standing behind him, fucking him hard as he gasped and moaned in pleasure.

Paul stood with his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open, but from the way that everyone else was just going about their business he was sure that he was the only person who could see it.

Nico nudged him, and Paul turned round to see Nico holding two bags, thankfully Nico knew him well enough to know what he’d want to eat with a hangover.

“Everything okay?” Nico pushed a giant cola in his direction, and the mix of sugar and caffeine was enough to have him feeling a little bit more human.

“Yeah, it’s been a crazy couple of days, and I’m pretty sure that this is just the start of it.”

“It’s going to be okay, we’ll get through this together.” Nico reached out to hold his hand, his other hand shovelling in chicken nuggets, and Paul managed to find a little smile.

“Thank you.” Paul was starting to feel like all he did lately was thank Nico, but he had no other words for how grateful he was. He was scared that if he started to tell Nico how he felt that he would end up telling him everything and ruin their friendship.

“I’m going to get another burger to go,” Nico said, stuffing the last of his chips into his mouth, and Paul nodded in agreement, finishing his food just so that Nico wouldn’t worry about him.

They shuffled out of the restaurant as Paul heard the sound of people having sex, and he scratched at his ear, but the sounds only got louder.

By the time they got back to Nico’s, Paul was starting to think that he’d end up deaf, and he kept having to ask Nico to repeat himself.

He got a few minutes of peace as he took all of his stuff out of Nico’s car, and he unpacked while Nico did the research.

“I can’t find anything about where the soul might go.” Nico sighed, rubbing at his eyes as Paul did the same. “And he didn’t have any family, no kids, and both his parents had passed before him.”

“There has to be some sort of lead, souls don’t just reappear without someone knowing about it.” Paul shook his head, he’d thought this would be easy, but he’d not realised just how hard it would be to find someone that didn’t want to be found. “And there’s not exactly Facebook groups for orgies.”

“I might know someone that could help us…” Nico grinned, and Paul tilted his head, staring at him in confusion.

“You might know someone that goes to orgies?” Paul knew that his mouth was hanging open, his mind filled with images of Nico surrounded by naked bodies, all writhing and sweaty.

“One better, Sheila down the road organises ‘parties’ every week.” Nico made the air quotes with his fingers, and Paul blinked, forcing himself to focus on the job in hand.

“How do you know that?”

“She’s friends with my parents, and once, after a dinner party, she told me about it.” Nico snorted in laughter, and Paul felt a little surge of jealousy. “She was drunk, but after that I kept hearing rumours.”

“We can’t just ask her for an invite, can we?”

“I’m no longer a teenager, so maybe we could go visit her and hint that we’re into that sort of thing.”

“What are you not telling me?” Paul could hear the hesitation in Nico’s voice, and he was sure that it wasn’t because of the sex. Nico was more than happy to talk about how much porn he watched, and all the kinky things that he saw in the videos.

“If the rumours are true, then there’s just one problem…” Nico paused for dramatic effect, and Paul glared at him until he finished his sentence. “It’s couples only.”


	4. Faking It

Pretending to be a couple felt like a dream come true, and he held Nico’s hand tight, clinging to him as they wandered down the street.

Sheila was busy in the garden, her curls bouncing as she set about digging a hole for the tree that was sitting in a pot nearby. Even sweaty and pink she was still clearly an attractive woman, and Paul was sure that once she was dressed up she’d be able to walk into a room and have everyone stare at her.

Paul couldn’t tell if his heart was racing at the thought of going undercover, or if it was because he got the one thing he’d always dreamed of. Nico as his boyfriend.

“Hi, Nico, how are you?”

“I’m good, just enjoying my day off.” Nico smiled, he was effortlessly charming, and Sheila waved for them to come in, resting her spade against the fence before wandering over to them.

“I was just about to put the kettle on, would you like to join me?”

“I’d never say no to a cup of coffee.” Nico gave Paul’s a hand a little squeeze, winking at him when Sheila’s back was turned, and Paul took a breath.

He could do this, all he had to do was sit and look suitably in love with Nico, while Nico smooth talked Sheila into inviting them to the party, and from there they could find the escaped soul and banish him back to hell.

Easy.

Once they were comfy around the little garden table, the weather just warm enough to sit outside, Nico finally spoke.

“You remember Paul?” Nico turned to smile at him as wisps of steam rose from their coffee cups, and Paul wanted to reach out for his hand, but the warmth of the mug stopped his hands from shaking.

“Yes, of course.”

Paul could tell that Sheila was the sort of person who prided herself on always remembering a name, even though he was sure that it must have been a couple of years since he’d last spoke to her, and even then, he couldn’t have said more than a couple of words to her.

“We’re dating now.” Nico looked genuinely happy when he said it, and Paul found himself forgetting that this was just a rouse, once they’d found the soul everything would go back to normal.

“I knew you two would end up together, you were always so close as teenagers.” Sheila took a sip of her coffee, a big smile on her face as she admired the happy ‘couple’.

“Yeah, it does feel like we were destined to be together.” Nico gave Paul’s knee a little squeeze, and Paul blushed, glad that he didn’t have to fake looking hopelessly in love with Nico.

And he knew now, with all the chaos going on around him, that he loved Nico with all of his heart and soul. Until yesterday he hadn’t believed in souls, and now he was willing to do anything to keep his.

Paul was aware that the conversation was going on without him, and he hoped that Sheila thought that he was shy rather than rude, although Nico seemed to be talking enough for the two of them.

Nico leant in so that he could whisper to Sheila, and she raised an eyebrow before nodding in agreement to whatever Nico had said.

“That doesn’t surprise me one bit, Nicolas.” Sheila chuckled, and Nico winked at her, his smile cranked up to maximum charm. “We’ll see you tonight then? Nine p.m.”

“We’ll be there.” Nico turned to smile at Paul, and Paul tried hard to keep the confusion off his face. What had Nico just agreed to? “Thanks for the cup of coffee.”

“Anytime, I should be getting back to this tree, it’s not going to plant itself.” Sheila winked at Nico as she cleared away the cups, making Nico smile, and Paul couldn’t miss the tension in the air.

Nico had got them an invite to one of Sheila’s parties, and he felt his stomach twist into knots at the thought of being at a party where everyone was not only naked, but doing sexual things to each other.

Apart from a few awkward fumbles in the back of a car, he’d never done anything even remotely sexual with anyone other than his own hand.

He just hoped that he’d be able to keep a poker face through tonight’s festivities, and that Nico would be able to take the lead.

*

Lounging on Nico’s bed, Paul couldn’t get his mind off sex. The soul-capturing dildo was lying out next to them, and there were pornographic sounds echoing out of Nico’s laptop.

Paul watched in horror as the man on screen gasped and moaned as though having a dildo shoved up his arse was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

“I think we’re going to have a challenge to use it on the escaped soul.” Nico stuck his tongue out, and Paul was sure that he looked pale.

He shifted so that Nico couldn’t see that he was half-hard, and Nico turned the volume down on his laptop so that there was less chance that the neighbours might hear it.

“We’re going to need lots of lube.” Nico looked thoughtful, and he dashed out of the room, his footsteps clattering down the stairs, followed by the sound of someone rooting through the kitchen drawers, and Paul assumed that he was getting a snack.

But then Nico rushed back in, holding a freezer bag as though it had magical powers, and he pulled a bottle of lube out of the bedside drawer, ignoring Paul’s confused look.

“If we lube it up now it’ll be ready to use.” Nico sounded serious, and Paul ended up laughing at how surreal the situation was.

“I have to catch a soul that escaped from hell using a demonic dildo.” Tears of laughter streamed down his cheeks, and he clutched at his sides, shrieking in laughter until he wasn’t making a sound, just vibrating on the bed as Nico looked worried.

“Are you okay?” Nico stroked the side of his face, his blue eyes as clear as an icy lake.

“You’d tell me if I was crazy, wouldn’t you?”

“I watched a guy grow horns, wings and a devil tail.” Nico shook his head, and Paul knew that he was thinking the same thing. “If you’re crazy, then I’m crazy too.”

“We always did do everything together.” Paul snorted in laughter, reaching out for Nico’s hand as they both looked at the dildo, and Nico threw the lube in his direction.

“Since you’re the official bounty hunter, you should get the honour of preparing the dildo.”

“You just want to watch.” Paul smiled as Nico giggled, and Paul held the dildo as though it could come to life and try and strangle him.

“You know me too well.”

“You’re loving this, aren’t you?” Paul felt himself relax, if Nico believed that he could do this, then he would have the confidence to do it.

“You were the one who kept saying that you wanted a more exciting life, and now you have it.”

“I guess I do.” Paul nodded, wondering if Lucifer could see the future, know that by the time he was twenty-one he’d need a change of pace. Or was he the one that made sure he was stuck in a town where nothing happened, and he had a job that he didn’t really enjoy.

Paul frowned, and he knew that trying to work out the devil’s motives would lead nowhere good, especially when he had an escaped soul that he was meant to be hunting down.

“Pass me the lube.” Paul held his hand out, and Nico handed it to him as though he was a nurse passing a surgeon a scalpel.

Slicking up his fingers, Paul struggled to keep a straight face, and Nico giggled as Paul started to stroke the dildo, embarrassed at first, but the more Nico laughed the more at ease he felt.

And then Nico was writhing on the bed, moaning as though it was his cock that Paul was stroking, and Paul started to put on a show. Biting his lip, Paul stared at Nico, gasping as he slowly stroked the dildo.

“Having fun?”

Paul screamed and Nico fell off the bed in fright, Lucifer looking proud of himself for causing such chaos, and it wasn’t until Paul’s heart rate dropped back down to something more human that he was able to talk.

“What are you doing here?” Paul reached over to help Nico up, but his hands were still slick with lube, and Nico only ended up falling back to the ground.

“I just came to check up on my newest employee.”

“We think that the escaped soul is going to be at a swingers’ party tonight, so we’re going to go and when he shows up we’ll send him back to hell.” Paul smiled. “We’ve got it all under control.”

“Good, that’s what I like to hear.” Lucifer disappeared as suddenly as he’d appeared, and Paul blinked a few times before looking over to Nico, hoping for reassurance.

“Yeah, I saw him too.” Nico shook his head, and Paul knew that having Satan as his boss was going to take a lot of getting used to.

Paul dropped the slick dildo into the freezer bag, and Nico zipped it shut before stuffing it into his bag.

“The sooner we get this escaped soul, the better.”

*

Sheila’s house was everything that Paul expected. Immaculately tidy, furniture that made the place look like a showroom, and only the masses of photos adorning the wall stopped the place from looking like no-one lived here. And to top it all off, the scent of a freshly baked cake wafted around, making Nico lick his lips as he gave Paul’s hand a squeeze.

“Are you ready to do this?”

Paul nodded, sure that his voice would advertise exactly how nervous he was.

“I wonder what a sex party looks like?” Nico grinned as he stepped into the dining room, the pre-orgy party spilling out into the kitchen, and a few brave drinkers facing the cold.

There was a nice spread of food set out, and it looked like an office party at an accounting firm.

It wasn’t what Paul expected. At all.

“Nico, Paul, hi.” Sheila rushed over to hug them, and Paul felt himself relax, he could find the escaped soul while everyone was socialising, and still had their clothes on, before making his excuses so that he could leave before any of the sex-capades started.

“Hi.” Nico gave Sheila a kiss on the cheek, and Paul did the same, getting a glimpse of the lacy lingerie that she was wearing under her sleek black cocktail dress.

“Make yourselves at home, mingle with the others, and I’m sure you’ll find people that want to play with you.”

Nico smiled, and Paul blushed when he realised that everyone in the room was discreetly eyeing them up. Well, eyeing up Nico, definitely.

He was wearing fitted black jeans and a shirt so tight that it showed off every muscle, and Paul felt his eyes glow green at the idea that people were interested in Nico.

But it meant that no-one was focusing on him, so he could try and figure out if one of the guests was actually an escaped soul from hell.

Nico chatted away while sampling all of the nibbles that Sheila had thoughtfully laid out, and Paul held his hand tight, letting Nico speak for him. The other guests all looked so average, like the majority of customers that came to the garage, and he’d never suspected that any of them would be the type to go to a sex party.

He was starting to realise that there was a lot more to people than what he saw on the surface.

And then he saw a man that he almost didn’t recognise with his trousers pulled up. The same guy that he’d seen bent over a table in McDonald’s.

“That’s the guy,” Paul whispered, and Nico nodded, moving round so that they could talk to him.

The man was a similar height to them, with golden skin and long lush black hair framing an innocent looking face, but the smile said he wasn’t always an angel.

“Hi, I’m Nico.”

The man undressed Nico with his eyes, and Paul couldn’t tell if Nico was acting, or if he was actually interested in the stranger.

“Esteban. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Paul felt himself drawn to the stranger, his magnetic charm making the air sparkle with energy, and he knew then that this had to be the escaped soul.

“I hope everyone’s found some suitable playmates.” Sheila chuckled, her laugh warm and comforting, putting the room at ease.

It was clear that Esteban was interested in them, and there was no talk of them finding any other playmates to join them. Which was for the best if they were going to send him back to hell.

“Are you ready?” Esteban held his hand out, but Nico paused, and Paul felt his blood run cold, his heart pounding and his mouth dry.

“I just need to get something out of my bag.” Nico ducked down so quickly that Paul was worried he was going to duck out and leave him to deal with this alone.

But then Nico handed Paul the dildo, and the second that he tried to wrap his hands around its slick shaft it squirted out of his hands, flying off across the room, and Paul froze in fright when he realised where it was going to land.

Right in the chocolate cake, sticking out like a sword stuck in a stone, and the dildo wobbled like a flag in the wind.

Paul felt his cheeks burn, and he wished that the ground would just open up and swallow him.

Although if he didn’t capture this escaped soul, that might actually be his fate.

“I’m so sorry.” Paul wanted to cover his face with his hands, but Sheila just laughed.

“It’s not even close to the strangest thing that we’ve ever seen in here.” Sheila winked at a balding guy in the corner. “Am I right, Dave?”

The room laughed, and Paul’s entire face went scarlet, his legs moving as though they had a mind of their own, rushing out of the door.

“I’m sorry, Sheila, he’s a little shy,” Nico said, and it was the last thing that Paul heard before he walked out of the house, the cool night air stinging at his flushed cheeks.

Paul had made it half way down the street when Nico caught up with him, and all he could do was mumble his apologies.

“I got the demonic dildo,” Nico whispered, and Paul took a breath, in his embarrassment he’d forgotten all about it.

Paul went to speak, his mouth hanging open, but it was far too public for them to have this conversation.

Nico seemed to instinctively understand, wrapping his arm around Paul’s shoulders and keeping him warm as they wandered back to Nico’s house.

Paul wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep, but he had to talk to Nico first, purge all the destructive thoughts that were rattling through his head.

Nico cuddled in, wrapping Paul up in his arms, and it made him feel like he could handle anything.

“I’ve ruined our chance to catch the escaped soul.” Paul groaned, sucking in a deep breath, and the smell of lube taunted him, reminding him of his failure.

“There’s a big gathering on Sunday, at the hotel on the edge of town.”

“Another sex party?” Paul snorted in laughter, of all the possible places the escaped soul could frequent, it had to be the place that made him most uncomfortable.

“Yes.” Nico grinned, but it faded when he saw Paul frowning. “Are you not having fun there?”

Paul buried his head against Nico’s shoulder, Nico stroking his back as he let out a groan. “Am I, a virgin, having fun at the sex party?”

“Hey, I’m a virgin too.” Nico held his hands up as though he was surrendering, and Paul managed a little smile.

“Yeah, but no-one looks at you and thinks you look like a virgin.” Paul compressed his lips, fighting the wave of self-pity that was welling up inside him.

Nico shrugged, he was at ease with all these things, it was one of the many things that Paul was envious of.

“You know, there’s no rush, right?” Nico’s lips grazed the side of his neck, and Paul inhaled sharply, sparks flying through his body as he cuddled in closer, wishing that he could find the courage to look up, let their lips meet.

But now wasn’t the time. He had an escaped soul to catch, and that was more important than his years-long crush on Nico.

“I know.” Paul gave Nico a squeeze before sitting back. “Thanks for everything.”

“What are friends for?”

Friends. The word should have comforted Paul, but right now it was like a punch in the stomach.


	5. A Job Well Done

Paul fidgeted as his suit chafed around his neck, it was the one that he’d worn to his great-uncle’s funeral, and it felt strange to now be wearing it to a sex party at a fancy hotel.

Nico looked stunning in his suit, and the style of it said that it originally belonged to Nico’s dad, back when he was thin enough to fit into it. He would have looked perfect as an extra in _Boogie Nights_ , and somehow that only made Nico look hotter.

“Are you ready to do this?” Nico pulled the handbrake on, and Paul compressed his lips.

“What if I can’t capture the demon?”

“You can do this, we nearly had him last time.” Nico reached out to hold his hand, squeezing it tight, and Paul felt like he could do anything as long as Nico was by his side.

“Let’s banish this fucker back to hell.”

Stepping out of the car, they looked like they were ready to fuck shit up, and Paul stood tall, a smile on his face as he felt at peace for the first time in days.

*

Someone, probably Sheila, had gone all out in decorating the hall. Red velvet hung down over every wall, and candles flickered in the chandeliers, with real oil lamps on each table to complete the look. The place felt sensual and secluded, and even Paul wasn't immune to its charms.

Clinging to Nico’s hand, Paul felt his mouth go dry at the sight of everyone in their masks, and he was glad that his own mask stopped anyone from recognising him.

The last thing he wanted was people remembering him as ‘the dildo guy’.

But the masks meant that it was going to be harder to find Esteban, even if his thick shoulder-length mane would help them narrow down the candidates.

The masks were all sparkly and exotic, adorned with copious amounts of leather and lace, and there was a definite theme to them.

“Do we think he’ll be wearing a devilish mask, or an angelic one?”

Paul scanned the crowd that was happily mingling, all scouting out potential play mates for the night, and Paul was amazed by how brazen they were, talking about their deepest desires so openly.

“I would say demonic, but since he seems to have a flair for dramatic irony, that means he’s probably wearing something golden and sparkly.”

Nico chuckled, his laugh calming as Paul dragged his eyes over Nico, admiring his beauty. Even in a room full of people all dressed up with the sole aim of being sexy, Nico was still the most handsome guy he’d ever seen.

And then he caught sight of someone wearing a white suit with a gold shirt, his white lace mask emphasising the darkness of his eyes, like a predator looking for their prey.

Paul nudged Nico,

“Is that him?”

“He’s looking in our direction.” Paul dragged his eyes over him, hoping that he looked sexy, or at least non-threatening.

“Do you think he’ll still be interested in us?”

Nico using ‘us’ was generous, since it was clear last time they met that Esteban only had eyes for Nico, but if that was what it took to get him alone and send him back to hell, then Paul could tolerate the blow to his ego.

“I don’t know. Should we go over to him?”

“No, let’s play hard to get for a little while, make sure that it’s really him.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Paul gave his hand a little squeeze, and Nico stepped away from the wall, pulling Paul after him.

“Want to go get some food?”

Paul laughed, of course Nico would think of food at a time like this, but it was the perfect way to mingle with everyone.

Nico did most of the talking, and Paul was grateful for that, it allowed him to keep an eye on Esteban as he stalked through the crowds, drawing closer until he was within touching distance, and Paul felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

Esteban’s lips hovered over Nico’s ear, his hand resting on his hip as he whispered, “Nice to see you again.”

Paul felt his jealousy flare up, but it faded when he remembered that Esteban wasn’t going to be around on Earth long enough to steal Nico from him.

Nico turned round so that he could look Esteban in the eyes, stroking the side of his face as he smiled.

“You look stunning in that suit.”

“Those trousers really make your ass look spectacular.” Esteban pinched Nico’s bum, smiling as he gasped, and Paul nodded in agreement, the suit did a nice job of showing off Nico’s assets.

“I wore them just for you.” Nico’s voice was soft and low, and his tongue teased at his lips, leaving them moist and plump, glistening in the candlelight.

“How about we take this upstairs?” Esteban flashed the key card to his room, his playful grin shining out, and Nico held his arm out, waiting for Esteban to link arms with him.

“Lead the way.”

*

Paul’s legs trembled with every step that he took, and not even Nico stroking the side of his hand with his thumb could calm him.

Esteban’s hands kept roaming, grabbing and stroking at Nico, and Paul felt like a third wheel, but he wasn’t sure what he would do if Esteban was interested in him, so maybe it was for the best that he just focused on the job in hand.

Sending the smug bastard back to hell.

“This is me.” Esteban slid the key card into the lock, and the green light flashed first time, the door opening as if by magic.

Nico glanced back over his shoulder, holding Paul’s hand tight as they followed Esteban into the room, and Paul jumped when the door clunked shut behind them.

The tension in the room was cranked up to maximum, and Paul knew that they had to do something before Esteban realised that they weren’t interested in having sex with him.

Nico slipped off his mask, and Esteban did the same, letting out a little hum of satisfaction as he shook his hair out.

Smacking himself in the face with the elastic, Paul tried for nonchalance, but he was sure that his blushing cheeks only made him look flustered.

“Paul’s a little shy, I need to get him warmed up first.” Nico flashed Esteban his most charming smile, the one he used when customers were being difficult, and Paul was glad for a minute to breathe.

And then Nico’s lips were on his, taking his breath away as he wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him closer until their bodies were pressed together.

Nico’s tongue flicked at his lips, asking for permission to deepen the kiss, and Paul gasped, his hand sliding around the back of Nico’s neck, making his heart race as he wondered if kissing Nico back was crossing a line.

“You two are so hot together.”

That gave Paul the confidence to lick into Nico’s mouth, tasting the chocolate truffles that he’d devoured earlier, so sweet and satisfying as Paul ate up every needy gasp and desperate whimper that fell from Nico’s lips. And for a second, Paul forgot that it was all an act, on Nico’s part at least.

“Where’s my kiss?” Esteban reached out to take Nico’s hand, and Paul wanted to growl with jealousy, but Nico’s flirty nature saved him the pain of seeing Nico kissing someone else.

Nico leant in close, the air around Esteban shimmering with anticipation, and just when their lips were about to meet, Nico pulled back with a grin on his face. “You have to be patient.”

Paul let out a soft groan, Nico’s teasing going straight to his cock, and he hoped that it made their act look more convincing.

“Everything’s better when you have to wait for it.”

Esteban groaned, biting on his lip as he nodded in agreement, and Paul could literally see the sparks flying, his demon powers radiating out and hypnotising Nico.

“Lie back on the bed.” Nico sounded so calm and confident, as though he was meant to be in charge, and Paul loved every second of it.

Esteban slipped off his shoes before sliding back up the bed, lying out with one leg angled so that it showed off the bulge in his trousers, and Paul’s eyes watered at the size of it.

Being a demon definitely had its perks.

“I’m going to have so much fun with you.” Nico’s voice dripped with sex, and he reached down to palm at his cock, watching as Esteban’s eyes were drawn to his growing bulge, huge even compared to Esteban’s demonically large cock.

“I’m all yours.” Esteban ran his fingers through his hair, his dark lips quirked up into a curious smile, and he watched in fascination as Nico stepped closer.

Nico grinned as he crawled on to the bed, keeping his distance from Esteban as he motioned for Paul to sit down with them.

“Close your eyes.”

Esteban did as Nico said, smiling as he lay back on the bed, and Paul was glad that he was still fully clothed for now.

“Open your mouth.”

Esteban licked his lips, opening wide as he smiled, and Nico pulled the dildo out of his suit pocket, gesturing for Paul to take it.

“He’s still clothed,” Paul tried to whisper, but Esteban was less than a metre away, and he seemed to have supernatural hearing anyway.

Paul froze as Esteban undid the button on his trousers, and he could feel the panic rising at the thought of seeing someone other than Nico naked.

Nico mimed giving someone a blow job, and it all clicked into place. There was one place he could stick the dildo while Esteban was still clothed.

Grabbing the dildo, Paul felt the sting of static electricity as he wielded it with both hands, able to hold it easily now that it wasn’t slick with lube.

Esteban gasped when it pressed against his lips, and Paul slowly inched it in, staring at Nico as he waited for something to happen. But nothing did.

Nico was nodding in encouragement, and Paul gave the dildo a final shove, making Esteban gag as he kept pushing, but it appeared that Esteban had no gag reflex.

Paul was running out of dildo, and he stared at Nico with wide eyes, but Nico was too busy watching the show to be of any use.

Gripping the last inch of the dildo, Paul was starting to think that Esteban was just going swallow it whole, but then he started to gag, his eyes flying open as his body convulsed, and he looked so very human.

“Fuck.” Paul tried to pull the dildo out, but it was wedged in tight, and the panic coursed through his veins like a triple vodka Red Bull downed in one.

“Are you sure he’s a demon?” Nico flinched as Esteban’s jaw clenched tight, his body vibrating as though his atoms were shaking themselves apart, and Nico rushed off the bed, cowering under the desk as Esteban’s body exploded in a shower of flames and ash.

Paul shielded his face, trembling as the smell of sulphur and brimstone made him cough, spluttering as the demonic dildo lay there on the bed, quivering with the energy of a trapped soul. He felt alive for the first time in his life, truly living in the moment, and he was loving every second of it.

He felt the satisfaction of a job well done, and he wondered if this was his calling, if all of his life was just preparation for his role as a bounty hunter for hell.

Nico pushed his glasses up on his nose, peeking up so that he could scan the room, and only when he was satisfied that the demon was gone did he crawl out from under the desk.

“Are you okay?” Paul’s voice trembled, his hands still shaking as the air cleared, and the dildo came to rest as Nico sat down next to Paul.

“Fuck yeah!” Nico held his hand up, and his enthusiasm was contagious, Paul giving him a high five as he stared at the demonic dildo. “What the hell do we do with that now?”

“I have no idea.” Paul laughed, if he hadn’t seen it with his own two eyes he would never have believed any of it. “I didn’t think we would get this far.”

“We make a good team.”

“That we do.” Paul pulled Nico into a hug, holding him tight, the adrenaline rushing through his veins as he thought about kissing him, but now that Esteban was banished back to hell it felt like the moment had passed. “We better get out of here before anyone comes looking for him.”

“No-one’s going to notice until at least tomorrow morning, and they’ll just assume he’s gone home.” Nico shrugged, it wasn’t like anyone was going to be hanging around for breakfast after the orgies.

“True, but I don’t want anyone asking too many questions.”

“Leave it to me.” Nico grinned, and Paul picked up the dildo as though it had the power to destroy him, the silicone warm as he stuffed it into his jacket pocket.

Now all he had to do was figure out how to get Esteban and the demonic dildo back to hell.

*

Getting rid of Esteban’s clothes had been easy, they’d stuffed everything that he had into a holdall, and then ditched it in a charity bank, laughing as they wondered what some poor volunteer would think of all the skimpy underwear and leather ‘accessories’.

Parked in the driveway at Nico’s house, Paul knew that he had to say something, acknowledge what had just happened.

“You’re a good kisser.”

“So are you.” Nico rested his hand on Paul’s knee, the warmth of his hand alluring as Paul held his breath, all the words that he’d been longing to say bubbling on the tip of his tongue, and he turned so that he could look Nico in the eyes.

Nico met his gaze, leaning in with a smile on his face until their lips were hovering millimetres away and Paul felt invincible as he closed the gap, his hand running through Nico’s silky soft hair as Nico pulled him closer, and not even the gearstick could damp the flames of their passion.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that for.” Paul rested his forehead against Nico’s, his blue eyes shining out in the dark and staring into his soul.

“Me too.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I was scared it would change our friendship.”

“Never.” Paul stroked the side of Nico’s face, gazing into his eyes as their love shone out. “I will love you until the end of time itself.”

“You’re such a romantic.”

“For you, I would do anything.” Paul laughed, talking about feelings wasn’t his strong point.

Nico leant in for another kiss, more demanding this time, as though he was testing Paul’s limits, and Paul gave as good as he got, desperate for more.

And then the dildo twitched in Paul’s pocket, making him jump, and they both laughed when they realised what it was.

“I think I should see if there’s a way to send him back to hell.” Paul patted his pocket, and the dildo squirmed to show its displeasure.

“I wonder how much he can hear in there.”

“I don’t know, but I feel it’s kind of a harsh punishment for selling a few porno videos.”

Nico nodded in agreement, with the amount of porn he watched he was probably looking at a one-way ticket straight to hell, although so was he, thanks to his parents.

Leather creaked behind him, and Paul jumped back with such force that he elbowed the door, pain rushing through his body as he clutched at his arm, and Nico sniggered before mumbling his apologies.

“I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them.” Lucifer smiled as he stretched out in the back seat, delighting in their confusion.

“Hi, nice to see you again.” Paul wasn’t sure that being sarcastic to Satan himself was a wise idea, but he wasn’t best chuffed at Lucifer interrupting his make out session with Nico. “Next time, do you think you could give us some warning before you drop in?”

“I just wanted to check up on you after your successful soul capture.”

“Thanks.” Paul felt the dildo wiggle in his pocket, and he pulled it out, waving it at Lucifer. “Do you want this?”

“Not particularly.” Lucifer held his hands up as he shook his head, and Paul held the demonic dildo at arm’s length, unsure if he wanted to put it back in his pocket.

“How do I… send him back to hell?”

“You just put the soul receptacle back in the box it came in,” Lucifer said, as though it was self-explanatory.

“The chest thing?” Nico pushed his glasses up on his nose as Lucifer sighed.

“Yes, the chest thing.” Lucifer mimed the quotes, and Nico rolled his eyes. “It’s a portal to hell, so if you stick your hand too far in I won’t be responsible for what happens.”

Paul shivered, his blood running cold as he thought of something so dangerous sitting barely a metre away from where he’d been sleeping.

“Anyway, I should go. Hell to run and all that.” Lucifer chuckled as he disappeared in a puff of smoke, making them both cough as they rushed to get out of the car.

Scurrying towards the house, Paul’s hand was drawn to Nico’s, their fingers intertwining as Nico pulled him closer, and they giggled as Nico fumbled with the keys.

“Shush, you’ll wake your parents.” Paul slipped off his shoes, leaving his jacket on so that he could keep holding Nico’s hand for a little bit longer.

“My parents are out for the night, visiting my aunt, and...” Nico trailed off, his hands doing the talking as they reached out to untuck Paul’s shirt.

Paul rushed in for a kiss with such force that he pushed Nico up against the wall, their hard cocks rubbing together as Paul heard something groan in satisfaction, and it wasn’t Nico.

“Let me deal with Esteban first, and then…” Paul grinned, rushing up to Nico’s bedroom so that he could get rid of the demonic dildo.

Kneeling in front of the chest, Paul flinched when he flicked open the catches, the dry ice oozing out, and Paul swore that he could hear faint screams emanating from inside.

Nico stood by the door, trying to peek into the chest without getting any closer, and he shivered as a definite growling sound drifted out of the box. “I think it’s probably safest if you just throw it in.”

“Agreed.”

Paul tossed the dildo in, and the chest snapped shut as thought it had eaten it, before disappearing in a puff of smoke, leaving Paul blinking in disbelief, a smile on his face when he realised that he had not only successfully sent an escaped soul back to hell, but he now had Nico all to himself.

“I’m all yours.” Paul stood up, slinking out of his jacket as he unbuttoned his trousers, soaking up the way that Nico watched his every movement, his mouth hanging open as Paul stripped off.

He was sure that it wasn’t the sort of striptease that would get anyone else aroused, but it wasn’t about being sexy. It was about letting Nico see that he was ready, that he wanted him.

Nico groaned, smiling as he unbuttoned his shirt, and Paul stood frozen. He’d seen Nico topless before, but now, getting a glimpse of his toned chest, beautifully framed by his open shirt, was like seeing the hidden image in a magic eye picture.

“You’re gorgeous.”

“So are you.” Nico blushed, and it only made him look hotter. “I wanted to tell you earlier how good you looked in your suit.”

Paul stepped closer, drawn to Nico as though there were magnets in his hands and Nico’s abs were made of steel, his fingers caressing Nico’s soft skin as they wandered lower, desperate to see Nico’s cock in all its glory.

Tugging at the button on Nico’s trousers, the sight of his bulge had Paul desperate for more, and he mouthed at the tip through the fabric, making Nico gasp as he lay back on the bed, his hands covering his face as his chest heaved.

“I want you.” Nico’s voice was little more than a whimper, and Paul felt all-powerful, able to reduce Nico to a needy mess.

“You have me.” Paul hooked his fingers over the elastic of Nico’s boxers, inching them down as his hard cock sprang free, the smell of sex hanging in the air as Paul licked his lips, desperate to taste him.

He whipped off Nico’s trousers, letting him spread his legs as he knelt between them, his heart pounding as his mouth went dry at the size of Nico’s cock, and he kissed at his thighs as he worked out what the best strategy would be for sucking off Nico.

He’d seen enough porn to know the basic principles, but none of those guys seemed to have a gag reflex, and he was sure that he’d struggle to take even half of Nico’s cock without coughing and spluttering.

Nico ran his fingers through his hair, gently encouraging him as he licked and kissed his way closer to Nico’s cock, each gasp and moan that fell from Nico’s lips making him braver. Sitting back, he took a second to admire the flushed purple tip of Nico’s cock, standing proud, twitching as though it was beckoning him to come closer, and he leant in to lick away the bead of precome, slick across his tongue, the taste unlike anything he’d ever experienced. Nico’s groan of pleasure went straight to his cock, and he wanted more.

He understood why people made such a big deal of sex, he felt honoured to share something so intimate with Nico, their souls merging as he treasured every second of it.

Getting braver with each bob of his head, taking more of Nico into his mouth until the tip was nudging at the back of his throat, and he could feel Nico’s self-restraint, his hips twitching as he tried not to buck up into Paul’s mouth, for which he was grateful.

His fingers stroked at the spot behind Nico’s balls, making him gasp as he spread his legs wider, and Paul sat back with a grin on his face, admiring Nico’s beautiful body as his chest sucked in a deep breath, rippling with muscle as his hard cock stood to attention, twitching in the cool air.

“No more teasing, fuck me.”

“Anything for you.”

Paul reached out for the lube and condoms, and they appeared by his hand, the faint whiff of sulphur making him mutter ‘thank Satan’ before rushing to tear the small foil packet open. He fumbled the condom out and rolled in on to his cock as Nico watched in fascination, biting on his lip as he spread his legs wider, and Paul didn’t need another invitation.

Slathering lube over his cock, he knelt between Nico’s legs as he shuffled into position, leaning over so that the tip of his cock was pressing against Nico’s slick hole, and he stared into Nico’s eyes as he made himself comfy.

He found himself uttering the words that revealed way too much about the amount of porn that he watched, but he just had to know that Nico wanted this every bit as much as he did.

“Are you ready?”

“No, I’ve changed my mind.”

“Okay.” Paul went to sit back, but Nico slid his hand around the back of his neck, pulling him into a kiss as Paul blushed, aware of how naked they both were.

“I was joking.” Nico’s soft laugh put him at ease, and his thumb stroked over Paul’s cheek as he gazed into his eyes. “I want you, now.”

Nico arched his back, pressing the tip of Paul’s cock inside him as they both groaned out loud, Paul burying his face against Nico’s shoulder as Nico’s muscles tensed, clenching tight around him before relaxing, and Paul inched his way in, propping himself up on his elbows so that he could see Nico’s face, make sure that he was enjoying every second of this.

He bottomed out in one smooth thrust, the warmth making the cool air feel icy by comparison, goose bumps rippling over his skin as he started to thrust, and the breathless moans that fell from Nico’s lips were all the reassurance Paul needed that he was doing a good job.

Paul thrust faster as he lost himself in Nico, his eyes scrunched shut, and their bodies moved as one until his muscles were tensed, prepared for his release. He stroked the side of Nico’s face, leaning in closer, and the change of angle forced him deeper inside Nico, his body trembling as he whimpered in pleasure.

“I’m going to come.”

Paul’s voice was little more than a whisper, his body on the verge of bliss, and he felt Nico clench tight around him as he grunted, his body shuddering as he pushed Paul over the edge, sending him head first into a dizzying orgasm as they both gasped for air.

His whole body felt limp, his toes curled as he rolled himself off Nico, separating their bodies and making them both hiss at the sudden loss.

Paul couldn’t string a sentence together, the only thought in his mind the feeling of bliss that was going to have him smiling for days.

“It’s nice to see you smile again.” Nico kissed the end of his nose, making Paul smile as he lay back against the pillows.

“I think I’m finally happy with the idea of being a bounty hunter for souls that have escaped from hell.”

“You’re good at it.”

“I am.”

“And that’s not all you’re good at.” Nico stuck his tongue out as Paul leant in for a tender kiss, his cock twitching as Nico’s big hands stroked his back.

“I don’t know, I think I’m going to need a lot more practice at that.” Paul grinned, pulling Nico closer so that he could whisper the words that he had been longing to say.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> *and obviously none of this actually happened, it is all a figment of my twisted imagination ;)


End file.
